oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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