i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
