he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
