My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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