yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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