Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
