Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
