No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
