We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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