What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
