You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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