idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
