so explain again why im purple
no
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
