Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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