So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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