i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
