i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
