We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
