I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
