can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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