It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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