"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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