we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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