I must be too annoying 4 u.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
