he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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