yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
