the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
