my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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