I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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