I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
