You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
