Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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