So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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