What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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