So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
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You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.