Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (728) Bad night (1440)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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  (608): Im mastering the way to pass gas silently. http://tfl.nu/n26o
  Replies (24) Good night (2978) Bad night (835)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1185) Bad night (3882)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five

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  (260): Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five http://tfl.nu/catf
  Replies (44) Good night (3102) Bad night (7994)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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  (315): We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?" http://tfl.nu/1ge9
  Replies (29) Good night (1174) Bad night (8469)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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  (817): Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though http://tfl.nu/u94q
  Replies (16) Good night (7277) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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  (301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi
  Replies (19) Good night (5230) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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  (978): Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question http://tfl.nu/aezp
  Replies (6) Good night (3226) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.

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  (615): I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag. http://tfl.nu/vhx8
  Replies (8) Good night (5058) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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  (310): So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked. http://tfl.nu/t6e6
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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  (307): he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back. http://tfl.nu/n0f2
  Replies (21) Good night (636) Bad night (2012)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

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  (250): Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom. http://tfl.nu/94fe
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.

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  (706): Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time. http://tfl.nu/63oo
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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  (616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.

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  (773): If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks. http://tfl.nu/wf91
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (355)

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