After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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