So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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