Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
