explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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