I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We just shotgunned beers for America
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
