They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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