brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I need moral support for this bender
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
