so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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