I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
