I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
