dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
