lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
