He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
