You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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