They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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