At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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