marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
