Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
