She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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