You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
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The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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