She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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