Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
